Care Refusal: 4 Questions to Ask

When the day comes for your loved one to hire an in-home care provider in Logansport or the surrounding area, you may be met with more resistance than you had anticipated. It is entirely normal; until now, your loved one has solely taken care of themselves or been a caregiver for others. Accepting that they have reached a point in their life where they must receive care can be a hard truth to accept. 

Asking the right questions and providing a safe space for your loved ones will go along with figuring out why they are refusing and what might make them feel more comfortable. 

4 questions to ask your aging loved one who is refusing care

Are you concerned about losing your privacy?

Losing the ability to bathe, dress, clean your home, or prepare your own meals can be devastating. This can be tough to address because even though help is needed, it is understandable to be a bit bashful about others helping with personal care. Many in-home caregivers, such as those who work for Comfort Keepers, are trained to make this new experience less intimidating.  

Do you worry about the cost of hiring an in-home caregiver?

The thought of finding the funds for an in-home caregiver can stop anyone in their tracks. Depending on the amount of care needed and the illnesses being dealt with, the price of home care will vary, but this should not be a deterring factor if staying home rather than going to a facility is what you're loved one prefers.

Most times, in-home care is cheaper than other facility-based alternatives.  

There are some options when finding funds for care.

Take an inventory of your loved one finances. Where is their money going? Are there expenses that can be cut out? Do they have savings, investments, or cash stashed away for a rainy day?

Hire a financial advisor to help create a budget, utilize your loved one's finances, and stretch out their dollars as far as possible. 

Check if where you live offers home care grants. 

Look for benefits that your loved one may qualify for, like veteran's benefits.

At what point do you feel like you would need help from a care provider?

It's possible that you're loved one truly doesn't see the need for a caregiver at this moment in time. It may be that they are stubborn, too proud to admit they need help, or they may even have an illness causing them to refuse, like dementia. 

Have the conversation about when they believe they will need help from a caregiver. Don't be confrontational or tell them that they are wrong. Just listen. This can help them feel like they still have control over their lives. It may even help them come to the realization that they could use some help or open the lines of communication about bringing in a care provider once a week to see how it goes. 

Keep in mind this conversation is not meant to prove that you are right and they are wrong. It will help to give you some insight into what they are thinking and maybe even why they are refusing help. 

What would you tell a friend who was in your position?

This exercise may help get them talking and looking at their situation from another angle. They may agree and understand why that friend would need help, which in turn may bring the realization that they themselves could use some help during the day. 

You could also use the asking for a friend approach and lay out the situation of your loved one as if a friend is in the same position and what they should do. This can help to give you valuable insight into what your loved one is thinking. Doing this may even lead to a conversation about how they have similar struggles and may benefit from a caregiver coming into their home to help with certain tasks. 

Conclusion

Deciding if an aging loved one needs to hire an in-home caregiver is a complicated process and rarely straightforward. Remaining patient, asking the right questions, and remaining compassionate in regard to your loved one's concerns are important. After figuring out why they are refusing care, you might be able to persuade them to take small steps with a caregiver until they are comfortable. 

Keeping the best interest of your loved one at the forefront of every conversation and decision. 

Have questions about in-home care? We can help. Call Comfort Keepers at (574) 626-4336